The Kraken’s a song that captures the essence who we are and why we do this. Written and arranged by Alan Coyne in 2014, it’s a favorite at. Hear it the following ways:

• In performance in Berkeley earlier this year (3/1/15) as mermaids, pirates, and other sea creatures
• In performance in 2013 at the Subterranean Arthouse
• And as a World of Warcraft machinima music video, courtesy of Lawless, some time in 2011!

Lyrics below:

I’ll sing ye a song-o, a song of the sea
And if ye be wise, ye’ll listen t’me
Tho’ long he’s a-slumbered, ’tis soon he’ll be free
And the Kraken’ll get ye, me hearty!

With the strength of a whale and the wiles of a fox,
The Kraken’s a-comin’ t’clean all our clocks
T’avenge fishsticks, caviar, sushi, and lox
And the Kraken’ll get ye, me darlin’!

(Yo, ho, ho, ho)

O, the kraken’ll get ye, Jim lad
He don’t care if ye’re good or ye’re bad
He’ll shiver yer timbers
and rip off yer members
He’ll clinch ye and pinch ye and make ye feel sad

With the skull of a squid and the claws of a crab
His great eye just stares while his tentacles grab
Ye can pull off yer peg-leg and give him a stab
But the Kraken’ll get ye, me hearty!

He’ll hack off yer hook and peel back yer eyepatch
His beak it’ll bite ye, so batten yer hatch
Aye, but it’s the third tentacle ye’ll want t’watch
Or the Kraken’ll get ye, me darlin’!

(Yo, ho, ho, ho)

O, the Kraken’ll get ye, me lass
He don’t care if ye’re common or class
He’ll drunk up your rum
And keel-haul your mum
He’ll take ye and shake ye and wale on your ass

Now accordin’ t’legend, that slimy brute
Made Sinbad the Sailor soil his sailor suit
He’s bolder than Bluebeard, tho’ not so hirsute
And the Kraken’ll get ye, me hearty

He’s the fiercest beastie in Davy Jones’ locker
He makes Godzilla look like Betty Crocker
Yar, they say that Kraken’s one bad mother-
Shut yo’ mouth!
Yar, I just be talkin’ ’bout the Kraken
Then we can dig…
For treasure, that is!
YAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR

O the Kraken’ll get ye, ye scum
He don’t care if ye’re crafty or dumb
Ye poor scurvy dog
‘Tis yer stern he’ll flog
He’ll flail and impale ye until ye go numb

Sooooooooooo:
Avast now, ye cap’ns, while out on the wave
Yer vessels all hold the booty he craves
He’ll suck all yer seamen to watery graves
Yes, the kraken’ll get ye me hearty

(Row, row, row your boat…)

Yes, the Kraken’ll get ye someday
He don’t care if ye’re grumpy or gay
Ye can go eat yer spinach
But trust me yer finished
So hoist up yer topsail and anchors aweigh
The Kraken’ll get ye me hearty!

Weigh hey!